"Serve Him far and near..."

So... I know it's late, and I should probably be sleeping, but sometimes the Lord just puts stuff on my mind that I just need to write down and share.

I've been at Csehy for a little over 2 weeks now, and the intense schedule is starting to take it's toll on my physical being. Sure, I'm only 21 years old, but anyone who knows me can testify that I'm built like an 80 year old. I'm getting tired, my bones ache, and walking up that hill from the dorms to the rest of campus throughout the day is becoming harder and harder. However, despite the tiredness and aches in my bones, I am so thankful that I still have a little over 2 weeks left here.

God has been doing so much work here this summer, all for His glory! I cannot express how awesome it is to be a part of that. While I cannot go into detail about a lot of it, there are a few things I can share... one which really hit me tonight.

Each counselor at the beginning of the summer picks a "tribe name" for their hall - a Greek or Latin word from the bible from a specific verse. This year, I picked the word "Diakoneo", which means to serve, provide for, or care for. My verse that goes along with it is Mark 10:44-45:

"... and whoever would be first among you much be a slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

I've been talking to my girls about this concept a lot in devotions each night, about the importance of our role in serving as Christians; yet, even as I talked about this night after night, it really took me all this time to realize that God has really been putting this in action in my life and using me to serve him - not just as a counselor here at camp - but in specific ways outside my usual duties. 

I will admit, I am a person that likes to fix things. I see someone in need, I want to find a solution to fix there problems and make everything better. I want to leave that person feeling satisfied and comforted, because I know that I have fixed everything. But recently, I've found myself constantly in a position where that is impossible. I cannot fix everything. Some situations are totally out of my control, and that scares the living daylights out of me. It's uncomfortable. I don't like it at all, and find myself wanting to yell, "No God! This needs to be fixed right now! We cannot leave this situation unresolved!" Yet in this confusion, pain, and uncertainty, I'm realizing something... something that seems like it should be quite obvious - sometimes one just needs to admit they are helpless and just give it all up to God and let him deal with it.  And as I was discovering and meditating on this tonight, God gave me this verse:

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? {...} For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." - Psalm 56:11,13

What a reassuring reminder that was! Like a really good, comforting hug! I have a problem that I really just want to fix, a friend that I yearn to protect...and I can't on my own strength. BUT GOD CAN!!! He delivered my soul from death and my feet from falling, so he can do it for others that I love as well. This life is temporary, so what can man really do to us? Nothing! Nothing permanent at least, because everything that happens in this world is only temporary, and it will all be forgotten when Jesus comes to take us to our real home with him, to the rooms he has been preparing for us.

God has been using me fully to serve him this summer, and I feel so privileged that he has done so; but not only is he using me to serve, he is teaching me awesome lessons at the same time. As I finished my quiet time with God tonight, I opened up a hymnal and read the verses to the hymn "Let Your Heart Be Broken". As I read the 5th verse, I realized this is exactly what God has been calling me to do this summer, so I just thought I'd share it with you all before I head off to bed. 

"Let your heart be tender and your vision clear -

see mankind as God sees, serve Him far and near;

Let your heart be broken by a brother's pain,

share your rich resources - Give and give again."

Thank you Lord, for blessing me with your rich resources, that I may use them to share the same love you have bestowed on me with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ!

That's all I have for now... it is late and tomorrow, (or should I say today?), is going to be a very big day.   Goodnight all!

-Erin

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. {...} Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ." - Philippians 1:21,27

You can run...but you can't hide!

Have you ever had your parents drag you someplace that you just absolutely did NOT want to go too, and end up being pleasantly surprised at how much you enjoy yourself?

I've had a couple of experiences like that (Csehy being the biggest one!)...but not for some time now. However, yesterday, for the first time in a few years, it happened again.

My mom told me back in December/January to save the date of May 24th because she had bought tickets for us to go see a production of the bible story of Jonah at the Sight and Sound Theatre in Pennsylvania. I kind of shrugged, said okay because mom looked pretty non-negotiable, and moved on.

As school ended and the time to go on this little trip began to rapidly approach, I tried really hard to get myself psyched up about it...especially since my 6-year-old nephew Caiden was totally pumped that I was going (he's probably my biggest fan). But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it was going to be fun and a great experience, the idea of going into middle-of-nowhere Amish country PA just did not sound appealing to me.  Plus I was having a rough start to this week and wanted to spend my off days just lounging around watching TV, practicing, and eating junk food.

Anyway, Thursday rapidly arrived and as my alarm went off at 5:45 AM, I groaned and painfully forced myself out of bed to get ready. We had to be in the car leaving by 7:00, because it was a 2 1/2 hour drive and we were scheduled to get a "behind-the-scenes" tour at 10:00. We hit traffic within the first hour, and I was feeling pretty grouchy, so I decided it was prime time to take a nap before the show. My mom woke me up when we were around 15 minutes away, and I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see a very blurry (I had taken off my glasses) bearded man with a big hat on, on what looked like a revolutionary period plow being pulled by a horse, with his son on the back. I rubbed my eyes, put on my glasses, and then looked out the windshield to see a horse and buggy right in front of us. My already low enthusiasm dropped to a mega low level as I noticed we were getting deeper and deeper into Amish country. This was not how I wanted to spend my thursday.

I was a little taken aback when we pulled into the sight and sound theatre. I had no idea how big it was! The inside was even more amazing, and I started to feel a little better as we got ready for the tour. 45 minutes in....I was totally pumped. It was almost 11:00 AM, and our show didn't start until 1:00, but I was ready for it to start. This place was AWESOME. The sound affects, lighting, sets, costumes... everything was AMAZING. They used live, very well trained animals in the shows, and the sets moved on their own using technology that is only used by the theatre and the US Military! It was all way too cool, and I was finally starting to have a good time.

Caiden and I outside the theatre by the "Lion and the Lamb" statue

We went out to lunch to kill some time before the show started, and then headed to our seats around 12:45. I was amazed at how packed it was! Mom said that she saw online most of the shows were are already sold out...and the show runs to December 29! Caiden and I were so excited for the show to start we could barely sit still...but before we knew it the lights were dimming and the show was about to begin!!!!

Opening screen before the show began

Caiden and I so excited for the show to begin!

As the show went on, it was even more amazing than I ever imagined. The sets, the lighting, the surround sound... it all made me feel like I was IN the world of Jonah. Even the "underwater" parts were pretty realistic, giving the audience the idea that they were under the ocean with Jonah surrounded by tons of fish. It's the kind of thing one has to see to fully understand.  Even intermission (which I normally look forward to during long shows like this) was unenjoyable because I just wanted to see what happened next! The best part for me, however, was the powerful feeling of God's love you could feel just poring out of all the actors. You could tell that these people not only loved what they did, but they loved the Lord with ALL of their hearts, and showed it in every song, dance, and scene they performed. What an inspiration!!!!

So, despite my disgruntled attitude at first, I was glad mom dragged me along. Another one of those "mothers always know best" moments haha. Now I can't wait to see the performance of "Noah" next year!!! Caiden had a great time too, though it was a pretty long exhausting day for the little guy.

All tuckered out on the way home!

Geez it got later than I wanted it too! Another big day tomorrow (or...erm....today now I guess). I'm sure you'll be hearing about it another post. I'll try to write more now that I'm on break.

Have a good night everyone! 

-Erin

"I called out to the LORD, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice. For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me; all your waves and your billows passed over me. {...} I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the LORD..." - Jonah 2: 2-3, 6

"Be Still, My Soul"

In the midst of all the craziness of finals, I found myself needing some down time today. I realized my sleep schedule has been way off, averaging around 3-4hrs/night (not good for someone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome [CFS] like me!) so I packed my stuff up in the library and headed back to my room to relax a bit. I turned on my TV and about 30 seconds into the show I was watching I passed out and was able to get a nice 20 minute power nap.

Upon waking up, I had another one of those moments where I just felt like I really needed to spend some time with God. I'm hoping sometime next week when I get home (and have more time) I can write a post about all the awesome things he's done for me this past school year, but for now I'd just like to quickly share the words to a hymn the Lord seems to have put on my mind. 

Now, I only knew about the first 2 lines of the hymn, so I looked up the lyrics online. Reading through them, I was brought to tears at the power of their words. So I urge you to read them - all of them... but if you feel like skimming... read at least verses 1, 3, and 5. Those are my favorites!

Be Still, My Soul


1. Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

5. Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

God Bless! Hope everyone has a good week!

-Erin

"Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness;

 tremble before him, all the earth!"

                  - Psalm 96:9

Oh how he loves us

It's been a while since I've posted, but if you looked through the various notebooks I use on a daily basis, you'd find about 5 or 6 little notes written in various places about ideas for my next blog post. Today I felt it was finally time to write one as within the span of about 45 minutes I thought of 2 or 3 more things I wanted to write about.

Wednesday is pretty much the only day in my week where I get a huge chunk of time between my 10AM class and my next class to just rest.  Normally in this time I'll practice for a bit or go to chapel, eat lunch, and then head back to my room to take a rest and maybe watch an episode of one of my shows.  Today however, as I got back to my room after chapel and lunch, I found myself completely distracted from the episode of "John Adams" I was watching.

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and as I was sitting there half-watching the show, I just felt like God was calling me to open up and read his word. I found myself in Job, which is where my mind began exploding with ideas of things to write about. God was revealing SO much to me, far to much to write about in just one post. However, as I reached chapter 33, it became very clear to me what I wanted to write about today.

For those that are unfamiliar with the book of Job, in this chapter, Elihu, the younger of Job's friends, finally speaks up after waiting patiently for the older three men to finish what they had to say, and rebukes Job and his friends. He makes note in chapter 32 that he let the 3 older men speak first because he considered them wiser because of their age, but after hearing them speak was reminded that wisdom comes from God, not from age, as he says in verse 8:

"But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand. Is it not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right."


And Elihu was indeed wise. This is where I come to what I really wish to talk about. In Job 33: 23-30, Elihu basically gives a prophesy of Jesus, saying:

"If there be for him an angel, a mediator, one of the thousand, to declare to man what is right for him, and he is merciful to him, and says, 'Deliver him from going down into the pit; I have found a ransom; let his flesh become fresh with youth; let him return to the days of his youthful vigor.'; then man prays to God, and he accepts him; he sees his face with a shout of joy, and he restores to man his righteousness. He sings before men and says: 'I sinned and perverted what was right, and it was not repaid me, He has redeemed my soul from going down into the pit, and my life shall look upon the light.' Behold, God does all these things twice, three times, with man, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be lighted with the light of life." 

How awesome are those words! Our God sent us a mediator, a ransom, his own son Jesus, to deliver us from the pit that is our sinful nature...and all we have to do is pray to God and he accepts us! And when we do, God looks on us with shouts of joy!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?! Sorry, this makes me super excited. It's just so awesome, that the one-true great and powerful God of heaven and earth would look on my face with joy! Something Elihu and Job only dreamed about...but we get to have that!

Now as I finished reading that, I found a note I had written under verse 30 that said, "Our God is a God of second chances! 6/6/11!"  I wrote this note at Csehy this summer and had forgotten about it until now. I wrote it after a very long struggle with sin and following my own path (something I'm still fighting), but at that time I had finally decided to let God help me through my struggles again. I had pushed him out of my life for quite some time, and though he was still there, that night I finally realized how little I was letting him carry. I do believe that is the same time I decided to start filling out an application to transfer to Roberts Wesleyan College...oh how awesome it is, the way he works things out!!!!

I just found all this stuff really cool, especially those verses in Job 33. I'd encourage you all to go through and read the book of Job, even if you already have before. I find new things in there every time I read it. Hopefully I can find some more time to write about the other things God taught me in my reading today later this week.

Well, now my rest time is up and I have to get to class. Ta for now.

-Erin

"...yet he opened not his mouth."

I don't know about you, but I am the kind of person that when someone insults me, talks behind my back, says something negative about me, treats me ill, etc., I get agitated and retaliate. I come up with an insult to shoot back. I'll grumble about it for days. I let it bother me and complain about it to others.  Sometimes it just takes even the smallest little comment to set me off.

I was flipping through my bible this weekend when I came to this verse:

"He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth." - Isaiah 53:10

If that is not powerful, I don't know what is. It really took me back, and the more I read it over and over the more impact it had on me. I mean yea, as christians we are told over and over again the story of how Jesus kept silent even as he was mocked and afflicted, but to me this verse really puts that into perspective.

"...like a lamb that is led to the slaughter..."

Put that image in your head.  A little lamb, innocent and sweet, being silently led along without a clue in the world as to what it is about to face. When I read that verse I thought of that scene in the movie "Babe (1995)" where Babe the pig discovers the slaughter house and what happens to pigs once they are fully grown.  As Babe's master (played by James Cromwell) carries him into the slaughter house and sets him down on the table, the pig looks around at all the scary slaughtering equipment around the room and begins to feel very nervous; yet, he doesn't try to run. He doesn't squeal and panic, or even make the slightest peep for that matter. Why? He trusted his master.*

Jesus trusted his master - that is, he trusted his Father. As the night arrived that he knew he was to be arrested, he was so nervous that it is said he sweat blood, praying to his Father:


"Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36)

He knew what awaited him in only a few hours. He knew the worst kind of agony a man could suffer lay in his not-so-distant future. Nevertheless he still prays, "Not what I will, but what you will." And thus, the next morning as he is dragged across the streets, publicly mocked and beaten, people shouting all sorts of wicked insults at him, Jesus keeps silent, for he is focused on one thing and one thing only - fulfilling the will of his Father in heaven, that we might be saved.

"...so he opened not his mouth."


Even the worst comments I have had people make about me are nothing compared to the insults Jesus had hurled at him. Any ill will laid out against me is dust compared to the torment Jesus faced. Yet I have spent a good majority of my life bickering and feeling ill towards my oppressors. I think most of us would have to admit to that. But what did Jesus do as they nailed him to the cross? He kept silent almost the whole time except for just about one moment, calling out to his Father, saying:

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)

Now that is what complete, totally surrender to the Lord looks like. Asking that the Lord forgive the very men that have sentenced him to a horrible death. Having compassion on those who had not the slightest bit of compassion on him.

So now I am challenging myself, and you as well, next time someone insults you or tries to hurt you in some way, don't retaliate. 99% of the time that is exactly what they are looking for; they're trying to get a rise out of you. So how much more surprised and taken aback will they be if instead of retaliating you keep calm and either ignore their comments or just say "That's ok. I forgive you." That is the last thing they'll expect.

It isn't easy. Trust me, I know. I am probably one of the most guilty when it comes to thinking ill towards my oppressors. But that is where this last verse I am going to share with you comes into play.

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed." - Isaiah 54:10

We will mess up. We will make mistakes in life. We will forget to be compassionate from time to time. But the Lord won't. He will always have compassion on us, not matter what we do, all because his son Jesus kept silent for us, so that we might always be clean in his Father's eyes. Eternal compassion...honestly, what could be better than that?

I hope that this is as helpful to some of you as it has been to me this week.
May the Lord bless you and keep you!

-Erin



*Just so you know, Babe doesn't actually get slaughtered. I forget exactly what distracts the farmer... but he never ends up killing Babe. Which I suppose is kind of obvious as you watch the movie, because then the movie would have only been about 20 minutes long. 

My First Wind Ensemble Tour [too-er]

So, I have returned from my very first Wind Ensemble Tour! It was definitely an experience, that is for sure.  I didn't exactly expect to get robbed, sick, and in a car accident on my first tour, (don't worry I'll explain), but despite all that it was still pretty darn fun. Exhausting, but fun.


We started off our journey by heading to Apollo, Pennsylvania to play at my friend Steven's church. It was a fairly small church for our group to play in, but we made it work and had a fun time of it.

Setting up in Apollo, PA

Our night in Apollo was spent in host homes, so my friends Lisa, Brynn, Justina, and I all ended up staying with this older couple on their farm in their 100 year old house. It was a lot of fun and we had some pretty good laughs, especially over an incident with some wasps. Apparently, around 3-4 AM, Lisa got up to use the bathroom when she ran into Brynn in the hallway. As far as I can remember from what I was told, their conversation went a little like this:

Brynn: Lisa! Justina and I just had to kill two wasps!!!

Lisa: (having heard Brynn wrong) you had to kill two possums?! Brynn that is a big deal!

Haha...gotta love miscommunication.

Around 8:30 the next morning, we loaded up and headed out towards Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio to play at a christian school.  It was a 45 minute assembly thing that ended up being quite hilarious thanks to Dr. Shewan and his tendency to talk much longer than he should when introducing songs. After the concert we did a short rehearsal to fix a few mistakes and then packed up and headed towards to Toledo, Ohio for dinner. 

Dinner in Toledo was a blast. I ended up going to this American Grill place with Dr. Shewan and a few of my friends, and we basically spent 95% of the meal laughing, which is always fun. After our food we headed to our hotel, which is when things started to go down hill for me...

From the moment we arrived at this hotel (The Days Inn in Toledo...don't stay there!), we all sensed it was pretty sketchy. From the creepy, foggy, pool area...to the sketchy people hanging about, I don't think any of us had great vibes about it; but, whatever, we were only going to stay there one night. Marinna, Lisa, Cathy, and I were on the first floor, so our room had a sliding glass door that led to the outside. It kind of freaked us out, so we nervously joked about it, saying, "Oh hope no one tries to break in and get us!" but then didn't think much more of it.

Sketchy weight room @ the Days Inn

To make a long story short, the four of us did end up getting our room broken into that night. Luckily, none of us were in the room when it happened (though I had run down to our room around 10:40PM to grab my camera and everything was fine, then Cathy found the place trashed when she went down at 11PM), but the whole entire room was turned upside-down. All our bags were turned inside out, with all our stuff strewn from one end of the room to the other. It was terrifying, and we did have things stolen; though, I got lucky and only had my ipod stolen (my wallet was in my coat pocket which for some reason went unchecked and as before stated I had grabbed my camera just 20 minutes earlier). We ended packing everyone up and going to a different hotel down the street around 1 AM. I crashed around 3:00 but did not sleep very well. I just wanted to get out of Toledo.

Saturday morning we headed for Spring Arbor, Michigan to play a concert at Spring Arbor University, which I found out happens to be our sister-school.  We took about a 2-hour stop over in Ann Arbor, MI to go ice skating, which was fun. 

Zach and Andrew skating in Ann Arbor, MI

I didn't skate as well as I would have liked, but I was also exhausted, as I think most of us were. We left the skating rink around 1:40 and then headed down the street for lunch. I had a pretty good time getting Subway with Dann, Jess, Joe, and David and they helped me take my mind off everything for a bit. It was a good time. Then we piled back on the bus for another hour or so towards Spring Arbor.

Unfortunately I didn't make it all the way through the concert in Spring Arbor. About 4 songs in I got really hot in the face and started feeling super claustrophobic and panicky, so I ended up getting off stage during a song switch and just chilling for the rest of the concert. I think I was just way over-tired, which sounds like a real lame excuse since I think everyone was, but I just had to get off the stage. After the concert we headed to Kalamazoo, MI where I had a nice relaxing night watching "Friends" with Dann and Lisa until we were all so tired we could barely keep our eyes open.

Sunday was our day off. We spent it in the windy city of Chicago, Illinois...which I was totally stoked about. The first 3 hours were spend at Shedd Aquarium, checking out all the fishies and just fooling around a bit. 

Zach doing his best fish impression

Steven having some fun in the giftshop 

Dolphins!

After the aquarium we headed downtown and just hung around until about 6:30.  A few of us went to this popcorn place and waited in life for about an hour for popcorn that would later make me seriously ill...go figure. It was kind of worth it though haha. After popcorn Dann and I headed to this pizza place that made gluten free pizza while everyone else went to this other famous pizza place. It ended up being a much more exhausting day than I had hoped, and by the time we went to bed that night my brain was barely functioning. 

Interesting street names in Chicago...

It was back to Ohio for us on Monday. We headed to New Middletown to play at a church that had asked us back after playing there two years ago.  It was probably one of the most awesome concerts I've ever had the pleasure of playing in. Despite the fact that 2/3 of us were sick and the other 1/3 was dead tired, we played our hearts and souls out and it showed.  It was awesome. Lisa and I got put with this really sweet family that had 3 teenagers, and we had started to feel a little better about Ohio. I mean, honestly, nothing more could go wrong in Ohio, right?

Wrong. The next morning Lisa and I were being driven back to the church by one of our host family's daughters when we got into a bit of a fender bender. Nothing bad...just bad enough to have to pull over and have the police come and all that. This time Lisa and I had to laugh; seriously, Ohio?! 

Lisa with the New Middletown cop car

I think the best part had to be when the cop told us he would need our information since we were in the car when the accident occurred. We both bust out laughing and looked at each other saying, "Well, by the end of this trip half of Ohio will know about us!" It was nice to be able to just laugh it off.

Tuesday we had our last concert in Fredonia, New York. It was a great end to the tour, and to top it all off we got to drive home from Fredonia in the Amerks bus due to the fact our bus had stalled out about 2 minutes before we arrived at the concert. Apparently our bus driver had been driving the Amerks around for quite a few years and pulled rank or something so we got that bus. It was cool.

The Amerks bus!

We arrived in Rochester around 11:15 Tuesday night. We unpacked the percussion equipment, unloaded the bus, and headed back to our rooms. I passed out around 2:30 and slept straight through til 9:30, then rolled out of bed, packed up the car, and headed home to Jersey.  

It was a crazy trip, and a lot of stuff happened, but I still had tons of fun. I am very much looking forward to next year and already miss spending all that time with all the awesome people in Wind Ensemble. 

Anyway, speaking of being exhausted...I must go to bed! Big day tomorrow, lots to do.

G'nite!

-Erin

"What is man, hat you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him, vist him every morning and test him every moment? {...} His wisdom is profound, his power is vast. Who has resisted him and come out unscathed?" - Job 7:17-18, 9:4

So much to do, so little time to do it

Isn't it funny how little time you seem to have when you have mountains of work to do, yet when you have nothing to do you suddenly have all the time off in the world?

I don't think it's funny.
I think it's cruel.


Today was just ridiculous. I honestly cannot even believe it is 10:46 PM already...and I am not nearly finished with what I need to accomplish! (Don't worry...writing this isn't hindering me. I just need to get a whole bunch of CDs downloaded for Theory, so they are currently downloading while I'm writing.) Not to mention the library closes in about an hour...so these CDs better hurry it up!!!! Anyway, today my schedule went a little like this:

6:30 AM - Woke up, ate breakfast, got ready for the day
7:30 - 10:30 AM - OPE @ SotA
10:30 - 11:00 AM - Printed out speech outline and wrote out short outline on notecard
11:00 - 11:50 AM - Basic conducting
11:55 - 12:10 PM - Super fast lunch
12:15 - 1:10 PM - Principles of Education (bleh!)
1:15 - 1:30 PM - Practice speech on Lisa and Aaron
1:40 - 2:30 PM - Principles of Speech (gave my speech.... it went very well!)
2:35 - 3:00 PM - Warm up trumpet
3:05 - 4:15 PM - Trumpet Lesson
4:30 - 5:50 PM - Wind Ensemble
6:00 - 6:15 PM - Go back to room and change/pack backpack for library later
6:20 PM - Dinner
7:30 - 8:30 PM - Jess and Kristen's Junior Recital
8:45 - ??? PM - Library (where I am now!)

Still on the agenda tonight? Laundry, a bit of homework, a maybe some packing. We shall see.

Thankfully for me, no theory tomorrow so I don't have class until 3:00; however, I do have to work out, go to Wegmans, turn in my 5 choices for the theory paper, and pack. *le sigh* no rest for me!


It always seems to go this way in college. You suddenly have a free weekend with no concerts or other events to attend, with plenty of time to do mountains of homework, yet there is no homework to be done! (Example: MLK Jr. Day weekend - this break came right after school started and there was nothing to do! Could have been time well spent on homework!) Then a few weeks come up where tons of recitals, concerts, etc. are going on and then all of your professors/teachers go nuts and start assigning those mountains of homework you were wishing for before! Why does this always happen?!

Truth is...we'll probably never know. It's just the way things are. Now that I've gone back and reread that last paragraph I realize I must sound like a huge dork... wishing for homework. I know, I know, people aren't supposed to wish for more work. I guess I'm just the kind of person who likes to be busy.

But not too busy.
And today, the last 5 days really, have been way too busy.


So yea, that's my ramblings for today. Thankfully I am almost done with these CDs (hopefully they will be done in the next 30 minutes otherwise I'll get locked in the library!) so I can head back to my room and do some laundry. Yay?

-Erin


"Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." -Psalm 107: 6, 8-9

"What can man do to me?"

I have tried blogging various times...and every single time I end up completely forgetting about it and stopping after about 4-5 entries. So hopefully this 5,000th time* will be the charm!

Anyway, I must apologize for I am starting this blog off with a bit of a rant. I am just very aggravated right now with people who are just plain mean for no reason whatsoever.  Honestly, what is the point of being so nasty?!

Growing up we will always encounter bullies throughout grammer school and high school...that is just part of growing up. However, when you are 23+ years old and well out of college, living on your own with an "real" job, there is no excuse. You should have figured out by now that being snobby and mean just makes you look extremely immature. Is it supposed to make you look cool to attack another person's looks, personality, religion, etc? Does that give you some sort of power over them? Are you honestly that uncomfortable and unsure of yourself that you have to belittle others to make yourself feel better?

Tonight as I was sitting in a practice room playing away, I took a break and checked my Facebook on my phone. I had a notification that an old photo of me had been commented on by someone who has never really liked me, for reasons I cannot explain. Now, I should have just ignored the notification altogether... that would have been the smart thing to do; however, I will not lie to you and claim to always do the smart thing. In all honesty, is there anyone who hasn't done a stupid thing every now and then? Anyway, as expected the comment had nothing nice to say about me (quite the opposite), and despite the fact that I know I shouldn't let it bother me, it did.

These things always do, which makes me mad at myself once again despite the fact I know I shouldn't be. It is human nature to be hurt by another's negative remarks. For me especially I think, for I am the kind of person who just wants to be liked by all. I know it is not possible for me to win everyone over, but I do certainly try my hardest.

As I've been writing all this down I have really been thinking a lot about Jesus. How did he do it? How did he endure so much ridicule and hatred from people who barely even knew him (or in some cases from people who knew him extremely well)? Well there is only one obvious answer.... the power of God! So tonight, I am reminding myself that His approval is the only one I really need. Though some may hate me, they can not harm me for the Lord is on my side as long as I walk with him, as the bible reminds us:

"The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The LORD is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man." -Psalm 118:6-8

So what do I do now?
Do I comment back with some clever remark? No!
Do I dwell on it for days on end, letting it ruin my whole weekend? Of couse not!!!

The hurt won't go away over night, it will still bug me from time to time when I least expect it... but then I will just have to remind myself that God loves me and that's all that matters. Thus, I ignore the comment, and if I ever encounter this person again, I show him/her the same love Jesus would have. For as it says in God's word:

"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. {...} And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. {...} But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." -Luke 6:27, 31-32, 35-36

Kinda long first post in the blog.... but I think I got some good stuff out.
At least I feel a bit better.

Ok, time to actually start paying attention to the Hindemith playing in my ears so I can decide if I like it enough to write a huge paper on it. So ta-ta for now!

-Erin


*Disclaimer: I tend to exaggerate numbers.... a lot.